It feels like washing up on shores, though, betwixt familiars of doubt still come to dance my nights away. It hurts so much to be in and out of a peaceful slumber, just to have a roar of worry feed me till I break. I never knew what it was like to forget home. It feels like time still stands, even - back where I'm still there. Back still calling your name, it's sickness. It's where I died, it's where dreams were birthed, and now...it's where I never want to lean towards, not one bit. Keep me calm, keep me safe, i know nothing more than a forever. One in my heart, locked. Safe & confined in the back of your head. You know I'm still there, right? I find absence...endearing. It means my being can grow even more for this time. The time I have here cannot be elsewhere. It deserves the now, like freckled cheeks, and too much sun. Like window shopping, and laying in beds built in malls - Why does it feel like I can fall asleep in those yet, my own just seem to choke me till I lash at the air. Breathe, ache, nothing is ever the same. I woke the dead up, and this time I'm so sorry I'm not strong enough, I woke the dead up, and this time I'm so sorry I'm not strong enough, I woke the dead up, and this time I'm so sorry I'm not strong enough.